Typical college student.

So I'm probably going to change my major.

It turns out that music education and painting are absolutely incompatible, so I am being forced to decide what my priorities are earlier than I might have liked to. If I want to paint, I can't do education. As much as I have been panicking, pacing, worrying, and shouting random things whilst trying to make this decision, I think it has been good for me. Because let's be honest, I am the type of person who would gladly put off life decisions for the rest of my life. I realize the irony.

After chats with many professors, advisors, and people who think they should tell me what to do regardless of whether or not I ask, I have decided to do a major in music business and a minor in painting. For now.

I realize that this is a terrifying idea. What kind of masochistic right-brained wacko thinks they can do music and art at the same time? Professionally even? Wow, pretty stupid, riiiiight? And really, why bother going for the business side of things, because no one will hire you anyways, since you currently live in a culture-less state in the midwest. Who needs art and music? Certainly not Iowans.

That's the point though, isn't it. The point of college is to explore and try things and *warning: cliche* dream big. Assuming that one career will lead to more success than another is presumptuous. Who knows what anything can lead to, really. Medical students are having to look hard for jobs. Music students are being accepted to law school over poli sci kids. True, there is the possibility that I could make no money at all. It is also true that I could make lots. It is the most true, however, that money does not happiness buy. My family has never had money, and I happen to have had a splendid childhood, thank you very much. And here I am, sitting at Drake university. I have traveled to two continents and am going to China this summer completely free. I am getting a world class education and am a fairly put together young lady. Do I have piles of cash? Surely not. But I am happy. So who cares if I make lots of money, if it's something I love. What I'm looking for is to make deep connections with those around me, create music and art, love God, make a family, and live with my eyes wide open. Money is not necessary for any of these things.

If there was no struggle, no change, no challenge; I would be paying too much to be here. If I was perfect at everything I did in college, I would be in the wrong place. I am about to dive head first into things that will challenge the hell out of me, but at least I will know that I am growing.  I will second guess myself millions of times, and who knows... maybe I will switch back to music ed after a semester (or less). But it's college. What 19 year old really knows what they are doing? The really UN-FUN ones, that's who. I am going to try something that interests me, and we'll just see how it goes.

After all, life without challenges would not require faith.