"Waiting" by P4CM

"So it seemed that it was cool for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
So I took matters into my own hands, and ended up with him.
Him who showed characteristics of a liar and a thief.
So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911 but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting cause it was me who let him in.
Claiming we were "just friends."

It was already decided for me from first date that even if he wasn't I was going to make him the one.
You know, I was tired of being alone and I simply made up in my mind that it was about that time, so I decided to drag him along for the ride, cause I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
A virgin in the physical but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat who was tired of the wait.
So I was going to make him the one.

He had a form of Godliness, but not much.
But but hey, I can change him! So I'll take him. He's close, enough.
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter not knowing the value of what used to be.
Arteries so clogged with my will that it blocked His will from flowing through me.
So I thank Christ that it gave this heart an attack, flat line obscured vision put me flat on my back.
Through my ignorance He saw, so through my sternum he sawed to crack open my chest to transplant Psalm 51:10--a renewed heart and a renewed spirit within me--so that I thoroughly understand and better yet fully comprehend how much I need to wait... for you.

See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn't you from the beginning.
Cause in the beginning was the Word and he didn't even sound or shine like your son.
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks and all he could whisper were sweet empty nothings, which meant nothing.
He couldn't even pray when I needed him to and asking hin to fast would be absurd so forget about being cleansed and washed with water through the Word.

But I know you.
You're already praying for me.
Even though you haven't met me let me assure you that I will wait for you.
I will no longer date, socialize, or communicate with carbon copies of you to appease my bordom or to quench my thirst for attention and short lived compliments from sorta-kindas.
You know, he's sorta kinda right but sorta kinda wrong.
His first name's Luke, last name Wrong.

I won't settle for false companionship.
I won't lay in the embrace of his arms attempting to find some closeness but never feeling so far apart cause I just want to be held. Because all I have to do is say no.
No more almost sessions of almost coming close. Passing winks and buying drinks and "Imma imma imma flirt."
Who flirts with the ideology of, "can you just tell me how much I can get away with and still be saved?"

No more. I'll stay in my bed, alone, and write poems about how I will wait for you.
He won't even come close. Our fingers won't even interlock. We won't even exchange breath because I have thoughts that are saved that as God our Father only equips YOU to open.
I will no longer be graded down from so called friends and family talks talking about concern for my biological clock when I serve the author of time...
who is not subject to time but I am subject to Him and He has the ability to stop, fast forward, pause, rewind at any given time so
if we could role play you would be Abraham and I would be Sarah, or you could be Isaac and I'll be Rebecca-- a servant's answered prayer, "I am bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh,
made up of your rib, Adam."
And once me meet, like electrons I will be bound to your nucleus completely indivisible, atom.
We even speak the same math; 1 + 1 +1 = 3 which really equals 1 if you add'em.

We were all created in his image, but you have the ability to respect, detect, and even reflect the Son.
If I were to explain what you look like you would have to look like a star, a son of the Sun and I would gain energy simply from the light that you shine on me.
I would need you in order to complete my photosynthesis.
I await your revelation but again from the genesis, I will wait for you...

and I will know you.
Because when you speak, I will be reminded of Solomon's wisdom. Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses. Your faith will remind me of Abraham. Your confidence in God's word will remind me of Daniel. Your inspiration will remind me of paul. Your heart for God will remind me of David. Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah. Your integrity will remind me of Joseph. Your ability to abandon your own will will remind me of the disciples.
But your ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
I won't need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks, cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me
where the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah.
I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31, waiting for you.

But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth, only if you should see fit.
I seek your will above mine so even if you call me to a life of singleness I will be content, for you are the one who was sent.
You are the greatest love story ever told, the greatest love ever known.
You are forever my judge and I'm forever your witness.
and I pray that I always find it my mission to go about my Father's business.
I will always be yours, and I will always wait for you Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning.

More than the watchmen wait for the morning, I will wait."





-written and performed in spoken word by Janet, official P4CM poet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs